Tips for Riding in Dallas, Texas

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Tips for Riding in Dallas, Texas

First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Next, if your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one. If in Denton County and your Mapsco is one-day-old, then it is already obsolete. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. (Frisco has screwed everything up.)

Dallas has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray." There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.

All directions start with, "Get on Beltline," which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.

Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooo much fun with that; we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth!"

If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators - and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ...

All old ladies with blue hair in a Mercedes have the right of way. Period. And remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas ...

Inwood Road, Plano Road, NW Highway, East Grand, Garland Road, Marsh Lane, Josey Lane, 15th Street, Preston Road all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples). The perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as Plano Road . On the south end, it is known as Lake Highlands Drive, cross Northwest Highway and it becomes Plano Road, go about 8 miles and it is briefly Greenville Ave, Ave K, and Highway 5. It ends in Sherman ...

The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85 mph, anything less is considered downright sissy. It also ends in Sherman.

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas, you must have knowledge of Spanish. If in central Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed... and remember, it's legal to be armed in Texas

The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park is not ornamental!!

A trip across town east to west will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have un-posted minimum speeds of 75.

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don't let this confuse you.

LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."

If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it has rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round (if it's Spring) - and it is the Texas State Fair if it's Fall.
If you go to the Fair, pay the $8.00 to park INSIDE Fair Park . Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, and possibly a gunshot wound. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him.

Any amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, racetracks, airports, etc., are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

Final Warning: Don't Mess With Texas Drivers ... remember, it's legal to Be armed in Texas

Ride on,
Torch

Note: I shamelessly stole this off an email, finding it so funny and true. Plus, the fact that I commute daily here, I just had to pass it on.

Day Ride to Dublin Texas

Day Ride to Dublin Texas

My wife’s uncle invited me to go on a ride with some of the members of his church. They were going to be leaving from North Richland Hills Baptist Church after a Leading Man Breakfast meeting this past Saturday morning. So, I was up early Saturday getting my V-Star 1100 ready for the ride. I tightened up the slightly leaking oil line fittings going to the Oil Relocation Kit filter housing and put the half quart of Amsoil left over from the recent oil change in the saddlebag. Then I added a small tool kit and organized the contents of the saddlebags a little better. Lastly I gave her a much needed bath.

I draped myself in my leather boots, chaps and jacket and headed to my wife’s uncles house. It was very overcast and there was some slight sprinkling going on here and there. I put on my riding sunglasses with the yellow lenses which brighten up dreary days making it look like a sunny day. The forecast was for 30% scattered showers and lots of wind. I had checked the news radar before leaving and all the heavy precipitation, thunder storms, was to the west of D/FW. I was not sure at that time which direction we were going to be riding in.

I stopped and filled up the fuel tank on the way to my wife’s uncle’s house. I arrived and he got his riding vest on and backed his Honda Goldwing out of the garage and we were headed to the church to meet up with the other riders stopping on the way to fuel up the Goldwing. The bikes were all lined up in a row and we were now ready to go. I found out there were a total of five of us going on this ride and we were headed to Dublin Texas.

We had an interesting collection of motorcycles going on this ride. The lead bike was a brand new Yamaha V-Max. What a beautiful piece of technology, it literally purred when started. He was followed by a Honda Goldwing, my V-Star 1100, another Honda Goldwing and riding drag was a Suzuki Volusia. I put on my Airflow gloves and we rode out of town staggered fashion and headed west. We battled the normal Saturday morning traffic as the winds picked up enough to keep you on your toes.

We made our way through Fort Worth and ended up headed East on Interstate 20 to 281, where we stopped for fuel. I was glad I still had my leathers on because it was still cool in the late morning. After refueling we headed south on 281 and from there I completely lost track of the directions, and just enjoyed the ride.

The ride down was refreshing. I’m sure we did not take the most direct route because for the most part there was not much traffic and we turned onto other roads several times. There were a lot of twists and turns which made the ride fun. The scenery was gorgeous, Texas farmland, the start of the Texas Hill Country, huge beautiful older homes with wrap around porches, antique cars, Texas Longhorn cattle, dairy farms, goat farms, old buildings and barns. The odor from the dairy farms is one memory I do not relish.

We arrived in Dublin to get stuck in a long line of traffic. It tuned out that we had arrived just after the Cowboy Culture Celebration Parade. The proof was on the ground in the road left over from the horses and added another element of dodging to the mix. We turned off a side street and parked across the street from Old Doc’s Soda Shop. The Texan sun was starting to come out a little now and it was starting to heat up so I removed my leather chaps and stored them in my saddle bag. In the field next to Old Doc’s there was a line of horsemen that, after looking at the itinerary later, must have been the Ft. Hood Mounted Calvary.

It was 11:55 AM when we went into Old Doc’s for lunch. We had traveled a little over 103 miles from North Richland Hills, according to someone’s GPS, to get to Dublin for lunch. I had a smoked turkey sandwich and a large Dr. Pepper. Of course, real Dr. Pepper made with the original recipe and Imperial Pure Cane Sugar, is what Dublin is famous for. And Old Doc’s, serves them up hand mixed, soda jerk style. Several riders had another soda bar specialty, Frosty Peppers, a Dr. Pepper float made with another Texan favorite, Blue Bell Vanilla ice cream. The food and drinks were very good and the small town nostalgia made for excellent ambience.

We did not stay around for any of the tours this trip. I will have to make a trip back for that though. Lunch over we geared up and hit the trail. I decided to ride without my gloves, which later may have proved to be a mistake. I switched to my Oakley sunglasses for the ride back because the sun was out some. Honestly, I’m not even sure we took the same route back or not.

The ride back was fairly uneventful. We stopped one time for fuel. The wind had picked up and it was pretty bad. It was a constant struggle the keep the bikes upright. You would lean into the wind and then it would suddenly die down and you had to quickly correct your lean again. Some of the gusts were extremely strong and we battled this all the way home. It made for a tiring very ride and I was exhausted when I arrived home at 3:30 PM.

After getting my leather jacket off and getting a cold glass of ice water, it slowly became apparent that this fair skinned large guy had forgotten one important item for my trip, suntan lotion. The exposed strip on my forehead, my face from below my sunglasses, my neck, earlobes, and the backs of my hands from my knuckles to a couple inches above my wrists were all turning bright red. I looked like a reversed exposure raccoon. I quickly applied sunburn lotion to all burned areas.

There were several other interesting side effects of this ride. First my rear end was very saddle sore not being used to being in the saddle for such an extended period of time. Even with a Corbin seat, I am no Iron Butt, that’s for sure. Both my hands had a slight buzzing sensation to them, like when you have held a vibrating object for too long. This and the sunburn is where those gloves may have helped. For awhile I thought I might get a blister on the inside edge of my right thumb, from gripping the handgrips so tightly, but it did not blister up. My ears were a little deaf from the wind, road noise and my Cobra exhaust. Also, despite using my cruise control on occasion, my right wrist and forearm were very soar from twisting the throttle so much, something I really enjoy doing.

We saw a lot of other motorcyclists on our 220 mile ride and I tried to wave when I saw them in time and it was safe to do so. We also encountered a lot of local police and State Trooper vehicles, most of which had travelers already pulled over. I learned a lot about riding in a group and my limitations on this trip. I also learned to plan a little better for the trip, like using SPF 99 sun block. There are also a couple pieces of equipment and accessories for the bike I would like to get that would make longer rides more enjoyable. Things like a cup holder would be nice. I forgot to pack my digital camera so the photos were taken with my Palm Treo phone. I can’t wait to get back to Dublin the try one of those Frosty Peppers at Old Doc’s Soda Shop and take a tour of the museum and the Dr. Pepper plant.

Ride on,
Torch

Ride Texas Review

Texas is a big place. In fact, there is 261,797 square miles of it. Texas is second in size only to Alaska. It is also home to a lot of Texans and is second largest in population behind only California. As of 2004 Texas has 303,176 miles of public roads. Motorcyclists make up 2.5 percent of all licensed drivers in the state of Texas. This equates to nearly 4000,000 motorcyclists on Texas roadways. So, why not have our very own Texas and Southwest specific motorcycle riding magazine? Well we do, and it is a very informative one as well.

I had seen Ride Texas displayed in the better magazine racks for sale, but had never bought one or read one, until recently. A few months ago I was reading on a great forum called Two Wheeled Texans and ran across a thread simply titled, “Ride Texas Magazine”. The title piqued my curiosity and so I clicked the link and entered the thread.

The author of this thread was Pooh Bear, a local rider from San Antonio. He posted the question, “Does anyone recommend this for subscription?” along with a link to the Ride Texas magazine website. I quoted and commented to a reply made by weekend warrior, another Texan from Lubbock, and added that I’d like to peruse an issue also.

I was surprised when humanrace, who rides out of Bryan Texas, quoted me and offered to send me a couple copies of Ride Texas. I shot off an email accepting the hospitality of the offer and a short time later two magazines arrived in the mail. On top of that, one of them was the much coveted March 2009 Top 10 Best in Texas Readers Choice Awards issue.

Ride Texas is not a new magazine; in fact they have been in publication for over ten years since founded in 1999 as TEXMOTO. Their claim to fame is being the first and only motorcycle-interest publication in Texas at that time. Since its inception they have won numerous journalism awards, including those for photography, writing, graphic design and layout. They have also been featured in a lot of other media as well.

Pick up a copy of Ride Texas magazine, or RTM for short, and the first farkle that catches your eyes are the breath taking, glossily detailed, photos. From the front cover to the ads in the back there is a lot of candy for the eye to see. You can tell that this is a quality magazine by how well it is put together. From the organization of the content to the layout of the pages, everything is tastefully done.

The front covers of RTM tactfully catch the reader’s attention giving up tantalizing hints of the wealth of information to be found between its pages. I found all the content to be relative to motorcycling in and around The Lone Star State. In fact, some of the information unearthed inside these magazines would be relative to anyone traveling in Texas whether they were on two wheels or more.

The contents of each RTM is mapped out on the first couple pages, page two and page four. From there you can jump to which ever article grabs your front tire or, you can just read them front to back. The editor, Valerie Asensio, usually starts the articles out with one of her own in the section entitled ONWARD. Valerie gives a warm invitation in the classic letter from the editor style for the readers/riders to not only enjoy the articles but to participate by riding to the destinations outlined in RTM.

Along with Onward there are several other sections that are in every edition of RTM. BEING THERE by Gene McCalmont was one of my favorites. Gene writes of his many life and motorcycle related experiences. I really like Genes writing style. He writes honestly and truthfully despite how humorous or embarrassing it may be. Gene also authors the section called AFTER THE RIDE subtitled Good life guide, where he espouses about the finer things in life to enjoy when the riding is done.

The (Almost) TRUE STORIES section is really quite funny. RTM also has the standard LETTERS section where they print subscribers letters and comments. The RTM INSIDE section has all the News and updates. On top of all the core magazine content they have the FEATURES section.

The FEATURES part of the magazine is where different writers will document there travels to different destinations in and around the great state of Texas. They document the travel rout as well as the sites to see along the way. Sometimes they will detail the planning of the ride, traveling tips, and give various contacts or resources used. At the destinations they not only describe places to see and stuff to do but also give you lodging choices. Another great feature is the list of great places to grab a bite to eat. It is also interesting to read about the different people they meet along the way like the owners or workers at the many places they stop in.

A lot of the rides are planned around the almost endless events in and around the great state of Texas. Rallies, parks, scenery, nature, concerts, festivals, fairs, sporting events, shows, rodeos, exhibits, and cook offs, are all destinations that that wind up inside the covers of RTM. Lastly, or maybe more importantly, RTM has included easy TEAR & GO maps of each trip that you can remove and take along on your own ride with you.

If you live in, travel in, or ride in Texas I definitely think it is worth it to subscribe to Ride Texas. The articles are all relevant and well written. The magazine is very well rounded and is also filled with local advertising. In the Top 10 BEST IN TEXAS Readers Choice Awards issue I was elated to see that the V-Star 1100 made it onto the Top 10 Best Bikes list at number six, I’m just slightly biased because I ride one. My only complaint is that RTM is only published bimonthly, but hey, they make it worth the wait.

Ride on,
Torch

Attack of the U.F.M.

Attack of the U.F.M.

It all started on a sleepy autumn morning. I rode to work early, usually getting up around 4:30 – 4:40 am and left around 5:00 – 5:10 am. Needless to say I’m usually only partially awake at that time in the morning. I don my leathers and head out to the garage.

I opened the garage door and backed Mistress, my V-Star1100 Classic, out and got the rest of my gear on, gloves, face mask, clear riding glasses, and half helmet. I tucked my lunch inside my right saddlebag. It was cold enough outside that I had trouble keeping the glasses from fogging up when I breathed out my nose. I closed the garage door and proceeded to start the bike.

First I turned the ignition key all the way on. I made sure the choke, (fuel enrichment knob), was turned all the way on. Then, I made sure the fuel cut off valve was turned down to the on position remembering that if I do not turn the fuel knob back on, I will not make it out of my neighborhood with out running out of fuel and stalling the bike. Don’t ask me how I know. I pressed the cut of switch to the run position and hit the start button.

Mistress’s 1100 V-Twin roared to life. With the Cobra exhaust, you can bet my neighbors know when I leave in the morning. I slid the fuel enrichment knob, (works like a choke), over to idle her down some and headed carefully out of my driveway onto the dark, damp streets.

It was a cold, dark and foggy Monday morning. I turned out of my neighbor hood and headed eastbound on Cheek Sparger Road. I straightened out from the turn and started to accelerate. Just then, I caught some movement just barely visible at the far reaches of the headlamp and riding lights off the side of the road. At first I didn’t pay to much attention to it, thinking it’s probably just a rabbit on the side of the road hopping around.

Then I noticed the anomaly is headed perpendicularly to my track on the road and will cross right in front of me. That’s when I spotted the glowing white beady eyes of this creature fixated on my Mistress and myself, reflected from the lights. As I got closer I could make out its size. It was larger than an alley cat and more like the size of a small dog. Now I could make out some large teeth and huge fangs in a pointy snout and large whiskers with foam trailing out the corners of its mouth.

Just then I realized what the Unidentified Flying Marsupial was. It was a very angry opossum running at full gallop across the road and headed straight for me. It looked like it was out for blood. For all I knew it could be rabid. I raised the angle on my right wrist and Mistress responded by slowing down some, both of us hoping to throw the attackers timing off. I just new it was going to either try to get up underneath my front tire and knock me off my bike or just jump straight up for a death grip on my throat.

My change in speed to throw off the timing ploy did not work. My next tactic was to aim my V-Star 1100 right at it. Mistress nodded in agreement. The logic in this approach was that, if I tried to hit a moving target, more than likely I would fail. The gargantuan opossum was at a full out run and just fixing to spring at me, its claws glistened in the riding lamps, when its head hit my front tire. It made a hollow thump type sound.

At this point neither one of us could adjust the momentum we had built up. The killer slid underneath the path of the bike. I could feel the rear of the bike lift up as the rear tire ran over the marsupials head. I knew it was its head because if it had been its body the back end of the motorcycle would have bounced up a lot higher.

In a flash it was over. Mistress and I had thwarted a deadly attack from a killer opossum and barely survived. I tried to glance back behind me and saw nothing on the roadway. But it was foggy and dark so I might not have been able to see it. I called my wife when I got to work and asked her if she had seen anything in the road, she leaves for work right after me, she had not. I looked closely again at the scene of the assault on my way home and saw nothing. The Attacker had made a clean get away.

Opossums are the other brown meat and tastes like chicken, I would imagine. Otherwise, they can be just another large, rodent looking, Unidentified Flying Marsupial obstacle in the road. Most of the time, you only get to see them with their little feet sticking up stiffly. Yep, they are just another obstacle you have to watch out for while riding a motorcycle in the Texas suburbs.
What is the moral of this story? Be prepared at any time, any place, and any conditions to react to changes in road conditions or obstacles in your path. Also remember, not all obstacles hold still for you. Sometimes obstacles have a mind of their own.

Ride on,
Torch

The Stench of the Ride

The Stench of the Ride

Sometimes trying to describe the nuances of riding on two wheels to the uninitiated is hard to do. Take for example smells. Being set free from the confines of a cage lets the surrounding scents in. The smell of the Waffle House on my commute to work in the morning most of the time is an aroma that will makes me want to stop and have breakfast. Riding by restaurant row in Grapevine on my way home I can sometimes pick out the smells of steaks cooking ad that gets my salivary glands all hyped up.

There are all kinds of scents that you notice when riding a motorcycle that you never have a chance to when driving an automobile. It is probably worse here in Texas where almost everyone has their windows rolled up and air conditioners running on max. Some of these smells are, like it is going to snow, smoke from a fireplace, someone grilling or smoking a brisket, imminent rain, flower or tree blossoms, piney woods, or coastal salty air. Not all scents are fun to smell though.

Then there are the bad odors, the diesels, the cars running too rich, the sewers, the dumps and landfills. Some food establishments may smell OK on the inside, but outside emit something that’s not quite pleasurable. Most fast food places are like that. Then there is the time Thomas Ramirez had his V-Star 650. We rode to lunch one day headed to one of our favorite restaurants called El Taco H. It is located right next to the Baja Grill and is like the fast food part of the Baja Grill.

We headed our way through downtown Grapevine and through some residential neighborhoods. We passed one older home with chain link fence with several dogs in the backyard. Then it hit us. The breeze must have blown just ever so slightly and we were slapped up side the head with the worst, foulest smell of dog do-do you ever smelt. I’m talking take your breath away, nauseous type of smell. It’s like when you are riding at highway speeds on a very windy day and a strong cross wind goes across your face and you cannot take a breath.

I attempted to hold my breath until we got further away. We came to the next stop sign and Thomas, catching his breath also, said, “Did you...” I cut him off with a laugh and we laughed together, shook our heads and twisted them off to go to lunch hoping to get our appetite back. Yes, not everything smells rosy when riding a motorcycle.

Ride on,
Torch

Sweaty Palms Revisited

Motoboss Airflow Glove Review

When I was getting together the gear I needed to take the Motorcycle Safety Foundations Basic Rider Course, I had picked up a pair of Motoboss Airflow Gloves from the local Cycle Gear. I ride in Texas and I wanted some gloves I could wear even in the summer. Texas summer temperatures range from 80-100+ degrees. These gloves have a mesh backing to let air in. So, I thought I’d try them out.

The Motoboss Airflow Gloves were priced reasonably enough that I had concerns about the quality. I have large hands and it is hard to get gloves that will fit comfortably. I tried on the XL size Airflow and they felt just right. They were not tight and I had full maneuverability of all my digits. This was partially due to the stretch-nylon finger inserts running around the edges of the fingers. The label on the inside read, “Outer Shell 50% Leather 40% Nylon”.

These gloves do have nice air flow cooling your hands through the nylon mesh back while riding. They even performed well soaking wet, like when I took the MSF Course. The palms of the gloves have a padded layer, albeit thin, for comfort. They have an extra layer patch of leather on the inside of the thumb where your thumb grabs around the motorcycle grip. There is also a protective layer of suede leather across the knuckles on the back side. The Airflow Gloves fasten with a hook and loop style fastener around the wrist. The stitching appears of good quality and so far I have had no problems with them.

If you have been riding long enough, your hands have been hit by debris. Bugs, rocks, and the like can hurt at highway speeds. Gloves offer nice finger protection while riding and in the event of an accident. In the summer time in Texas, you can’t even touch parts of your bike without some kind of protection. If you need to make some type of roadside repair you will need a good pair of gloves. The Motoboss Airflow Gloves offer an alternative when riding in the heat to full leather gloves and provide more protection then leather fingerless gloves. Torch gives the Motoboss Airflow Gloves a M.M.M Rating of 8 on a scale of 1-10.

Ride on,
Torch